How to keep talking about mental health all year long

Everyone’s mental health is just as important as their physical health. (The brain is part of the body, after all.) 

When people get the flu, they have symptoms like a fever, chills, and a cough or stuffy nose. When people struggle with their mental health, there are symptoms, too. You and your kids might experience some sadness, angry outbursts, or fears. Maybe you don’t feel like doing your usual activities or your child seems withdrawn.

And just when you think you have a handle on things, they change. Or something else happens to upset your balance. When that happens, you need a few reliable skills to hold onto. There are things you can do to get steady, both for your sake and for those who need you.

Here are three simple ways you can keep your whole family’s mental health steady all year long.

1. Keep talking (and listening)
   Remind your child you are here for them. Every day, if you like. Especially after a tough game, hard test, or big tantrum. Say things that let them know you understand what they’re feeling and you’re there to listen when they’re ready to talk. For example, “It sounds like that class lesson really has you frustrated. Tell me what the hardest part is.”
   
   
   The more you talk, too, the better you’ll feel. Model being open about your emotions so your child sees what it looks like to talk about feelings. And find a trusted friend, counselor, or family member who will listen when you have your own big emotions to work through.
   
   
   

2. See the good
   Silver linings are everywhere if you look for them. If your child is discouraged because they can’t master a math problem or make the basketball through the hoop, remind them to add “yet” to the end of their sentence. When traffic because of a minor accident makes you late to work, be grateful you aren’t the one with the new dent in your car. Every time you catch your child doing something amazing like using a napkin instead of their sleeve to wipe spaghetti sauce off of their mouth, tell them how much you like it.
   
   
   

3. Help others, help yourself
   Even little kids can be big helpers. Teach younger kids how to scoop kibble into Fido’s bowl. Ask an older child to wipe the dinner table down or help put away dishes. Have your child hand deliver a hot meal or extra blueberry muffins to an elderly neighbor. Learning responsibility, having a positive impact on others, and contributing to a healthy family dynamic builds self-esteem and a sense of belonging.
   
   
   You belong to yourself, too. When you or your child are riding an anxious wave or an emotion that is becoming too big for the body, give a little grace until it passes. Lay down or sit quietly and breathe. Sit in the sun. Jump around. Hug your knees, a stuffed animal, or your child to your chest. 

If your emotions erupted into loud voices or tears before you could regulate, you can talk through why it happened and then let that pass, too. Tomorrow is another day and another chance to do and feel better. You give your child room to make mistakes and wake them up to a fresh start and a clean slate all the time, right? Do it for yourself, too.