You're not the only parent who (sometimes) feels stressed and stuck

Humans are a kaleidoscope of emotions. Feelings change quickly, tumble into each other, and overlap. You’re fulfilled and overwhelmed. Kids are silly and difficult. Teenagers can be both courageous and scared.

As a parent, the mental load is a heavy one to carry. Especially when, at any given moment, you might also find yourself trying to hold one small shoe, the dog’s leash, two school forms, three goldfish crackers, a dirty sock, a half-eaten banana, and your phone (which is somehow already at 7%).

You’re sticky. You’re an octopus. And you need a break.

Are you ready for the truth? It doesn't matter if your child is in preschool or headed off to college soon. Parents are never off the clock. 

Kids are tricky. Every phase brings new challenges. What makes them laugh on Tuesday will infuriate them come Friday.

The emotional roller coaster has you frenzied. The shiny highlight reels on social media make you feel deflated. The long days you spend trying to find time and fight traffic and connect with your people leave you exhausted. 

And when you have a child who is struggling with their mental health, everyone in the family feels it. 

Does any of this feel familiar?

• Days when all the kids are late to school because one of them couldn’t make it out the door
  
  

• Outbursts that leave at least one person in tears before the end of the day
  
  

• A hug and a pep talk and their favorite sandwich (with the crusts cut off) still aren’t enough to bring them out of their funky mood
  
  

• The slammed doors, refusals, thrown toys, or crying jags that seem all too frequent lately

While we haven’t walked in your unique shoes, we have a well-worn pair just like them. We know from experience how heavy it feels to need a village that can’t be found. And we know that when the right help is within reach, the weight starts to lift.

You can’t pour into your kids from an empty emotional bucket. Which is why we’re here for your kids, and we’re here for you, too.

You may have seen the Surgeon General’s advisory late last summer. In it, we learned that 41% of parents feel so stressed on a daily basis that they cannot function. Read that again. 

Can you imagine what kind of unraveling would go (does go?!) on in your home if you literally couldn’t function? Who would do and clean and sign and drive to and pick up and kiss away and organize all the things?!

You are such an important person. Vital, really. You matter as an individual, you matter as a parent, and you matter to a lot of other people, too.

So, yes, World Mental Health Day is October 10th. It’s a meaningful moment for everyone to stop and think about their well-being. And we believe every day is a good day to do that. 

There are 1,440 minutes in each day. Taking just a couple of those minutes every day to soothe your own jangled nerves and regulate your emotions will have a cumulative effect. 

Here are six ways to tuck a little self-care into your days and weeks:

Replace guilt with grace
Look for progress, not perfection. Instead of “I shouldn’t have said/done that” try “Now that I know better, I can do better.”

Consider movement a gift
You don’t “have” to walk, run, or do yoga — you “get” to. Feel your blood pumping, sweat out toxins, and clear your mind.

Enjoy it now
Light the candle you love, use the “good” plates for takeout, say or do silly things just so you can listen to your child giggle.

Create space for silence
Earphones out. Streaming paused. Social media closed. Listen for five sounds around you and let them bring you into the here and now.

Make tomorrow a little easier
Before your head hits the pillow, get a few tasks done that will make your morning more simple — set the coffee maker, prep lunchboxes, and start the dishwasher.

Get yourself centered
Eat sitting down. Laugh with a friend. Hug someone you love. Stretch before bed. When your eyes flutter open in the morning, name one thing you’re grateful for.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. Filling your own bucket helps you get centered. And when you’re balanced, you can juggle all those balls you have in the air with a little more confidence.

Self-care feels good, but sometimes it’s not enough to keep you at your best. When you need more support — or when your child does — take that first hard step and ask for it. You can do it. We can help.