Tools for Talking About Risk

Talking about any identified safety concern can feel uncomfortable, but talking about it is the first step in keeping your child safe. Contrary to popular belief, talking about these concerns will not put ideas in your child’s head or increase the likelihood of safety events.

Top Tips for Talking About Risk

Talking about any identified safety concern can feel uncomfortable, but talking about it is the first step in keeping your child safe. Contrary to popular belief, talking about these concerns will not put ideas in your child’s head or increase the likelihood of safety events.

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Be clear and direct

"Thank you for telling me that you are having thoughts of killing yourself. It probably felt hard or scary to tell me that, and I’m grateful that you did. Can you tell me a little more about the thoughts that you’re having?"

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Take them seriously

"You are really important to me and I therefore want to make sure I check in about the statement you made about wanting to kill yourself. Can you tell me what you meant by that?"

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Validate and empathize

"That sounds really hard and scary. Thank you for sharing it with me. I can totally understand how that situation would feel so tough. I’m here for you; we will figure it out together."

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Make a plan

Watch the video below to learn more about making your own safety plan with your family.

Continue the Conversation

Risk changes throughout the day and week, so it will be important to keep an open stream of communication. Having a quick and easy way to check in helps families communicate more easily. Most importantly, design what works best for your family.

Decide how your family will check in with each other about the current level of risk or concern. Here are some ideas:

  • Number system

  • Color system

  • Code words - different words for different levels of concern

visual representation of different ways to code levels of risk when talking with family members

Standard Home Safety Interventions

There is nothing more important than your safety and that of your family.  For this reason, we offer the following guidance around preventing a safety crisis with your child or teen.

If you believe your child or teen is at risk of harming themself or someone else or if your therapist has expressed safety concerns about your child or teen, please consider following the steps below.

Safety Proofing the Home:

  • Secure and lock up objects your child or teen could use to hurt themself or others, such as;

    • Medications:  All medication, including all over-the-counter medicines.  

    • Sharps: Such as knives and razors. 

    • Belts, cords, ropes, and sheets

    • Firearms and ammunition:  Should be locked and kept in different locations from each other. 

    • Any other object that your child has mentioned thinking of using to harm themselves or others 

  • If your child or teen is engaging in destructive or aggressive behaviors, lock up items that may be easily broken or used as a weapon.

  • Hide Locked Items: Ensure that your child or teen does not have knowledge of the location of these items or how to get access (where keys are kept, what combinations unlock storage).

Supervision:

  • One of the best ways to ensure your child or teen’s safety is to come up with a supervision plan. Based on the specific things your child is thinking about, it will be important to consider how, when, and where trusted adults can supervise the safety of your child. By supervision, we mean being physically present in close proximity and able to check in quickly. It is often helpful to collaborate on a supervision plan as part of your safety plan. Examples of this include (and may vary depending on the situation):

    • Having your child leave the bathroom door ajar (not entirely open) while occupying the bathroom and checking in verbally if the bathroom trip is taking longer than expected. 

    • Ensuring there is someone to hang out with your child or teen in person after school

    • Sleeping in the same room as your child or teen

What to Do if You Need Immediate Support

If your child is in distress and needs to talk to someone right away, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). You can also chat from a computer at 988lifeline.org

If this is an emergency and your child is in immediate danger of harming themselves or others, Call 911.

  • Please consider your child’s or teen’s safety and the safety of others when deciding whether to transport them in your own vehicle.  

  • If you are unable to safely transport your child, call 911 to have them transported.

Crisis Resources