Big changes, big feelings, and a new baby

Bringing a new child into your family is exciting — and if you have other kids, it can also be a whirlwind of emotions. They’ll likely feel joy, but could experience jealousy, confusion, and insecurity. 

Here’s a practical guide to helping your child navigate this big life change.

Share the news thoughtfully

Tell your child as early as possible to ease the transition. However, if you’ve experienced pregnancy or infant loss, give yourself time until you’re emotionally ready.

Make it memorable! If your child loves surprises, get creative: a decorated cake, a bandana on the family dog announcing their “big sibling” status, or a fun activity that includes the whole family.

Use age-appropriate language:

• “There’s one more person in our family we get to show love to.”

• “We get to teach them things we’ve learned and watch them grow — it will be fun!”
  
  
  

• “Our family will be bigger and so will the love we all feel for each other.”

Emphasize that while change can be hard, this is a positive addition to the family.

Expect mixed feelings

It’s normal for your child to experience a rollercoaster of emotions: jealousy, insecurity, tantrums, and even regression in behavior or sleep. This is their way of seeking reassurance and attention — they want to know they aren’t being replaced or forgotten.

Tips by age:

• Toddlers/preschoolers: They may not understand timelines. Instead of a due date, use a season: “Baby will arrive when it’s hot and we go swimming!” They may not react during pregnancy, but regression can appear once the baby is mobile.

• Preschool-age: Sharing can be tough — they may struggle with fairness and want more attention.

• School-age kids: More curious and capable of understanding, but fairness still matters — they may notice when the baby is treated differently.

Prepare for the big arrival

• Explain the hospital stay to your child, along with who will care for them while you’re away.

• Arrange extra one-on-one time with your child during this period.
  
  
  

• Invite your child to be part of the process where it makes sense — they can bring you a new tiny diaper, choose the bedtime book, or help put socks on the baby.

When the baby arrives, let your child be the first to visit — this helps them feel included and valued.

Ease the transition

• Include your child: Let them help set up the nursery, pick out baby items, or make a gift for the new sibling.

• Teach baby care through play: Use dolls to practice patience, gentleness, and nurturing.

• Give them a “special job”: Holding wipes during diaper changes or helping with small tasks helps them feel helpful and important.

• Balance attention: If your child asks to play while you’re busy with the baby, validate their request: “I want to play too! What should we do when your sister is done eating?”

Dos and don’ts

Do

• Praise your child for helping and being kind.

• Validate all feelings — jealousy and frustration are normal.

• Create time to spend with your child, even after the baby arrives.

Don’t

• Force your older child to be comfortable with the baby — allow feelings to exist.

• Simultaneously add other big transitions like potty training or moving to a new bed.
  
  
  

• Criticize or compare your child to the baby (e.g. “Why can’t you take a nice long nap like the baby does?”)

Above all, make your child feel special. Offer affection, understanding, and reassurance that nobody can replace them — you love them immensely and individually. Your love wasn’t divided when the baby came, it was doubled.

Takeaway

A new sibling is a big change, but with preparation, empathy, and intentional inclusion, your child can adjust with confidence and feel secure in their place in the family.