Five smart ways to stop social media from crushing your kids’ self-esteem

If you listen to the hype, social media sounds like a toxic swamp of cyberbullies, filters, and impossibly perfect influencers — the last place you’d want your kids hanging out. 

But hit pause before deleting TikTok. Most teens actually say social media does a lot more good than harm.

In a 2025 Pew survey report, a majority of teens reported that they see social media as a positive space for friendships and creativity: 74% of teens say these platforms make them feel more connected to their friends, and 63% say they give them a place to show off their creative side.

So how do you tip the scales toward that good stuff and away from the damage? These five smart moves can help.

1. Talk about it, often

Check in with your teens about how social media is landing for them right now. How do they feel after hours on YouTube? How do they feel when they log off? What would they change if they could? You might not get deep answers immediately, but keeping the conversation open helps you stay tuned in to how social media is shaping their mood and mindset.

2. Spotlight the good content

Yes, parents can still find cool, inspiring accounts worth sharing. A teen who loves reading might appreciate a great #BookTok recommendation. A vegan teen might even forgive you for sending a smoothie bowl recipe you found on Instagram. Showing kids that social media isn’t all nonsense helps them see it as a tool, not a trap.

3. Use social media to fuel their interests

Whether your kids are into flamenco dancing or dreaming of keeping bees, social media can help them go deeper. Talk about ways they can learn, create, or connect: posting dance videos, following experts, or messaging a beekeeping influencer about how they got started. Just be sure to also talk about online safety and set clear rules around sharing personal information or images/videos.

4. Help them find their people

Belonging matters. Feeling part of a community can help kids feel safer exploring who they are, especially around identity, race, gender, or sexual orientation. Encourage them to connect (safely) with others who share their interests or lived experiences. School-based groups, nonprofits, and community organizations are great starting points, and counselors or teachers can often point kids in the right direction.

5. Keep them grounded in real life

If social media makes your kids feel “less than,” remind them that what they’re seeing isn’t the whole truth — filters, edits, and highlight reels are everywhere. And if likes and followers are piling up, remind them that their offline selves matter just as much. 

Either way, help kids protect screen-free time so they can stay connected to who they are beyond the app. You don’t have to create social media balance overnight, but you can take one step today. Start a conversation with your kids this week. Set one new boundary as a family. Follow one account that actually inspires them. 

And if social media seems to be doing more harm than good, don’t wait — reach out for support.