From the sideline to the spotlight: Performance anxiety in school and sports

Whether it’s standing at the front of a classroom for a history presentation or swimming anchor on the relay team, performance pressure is a universal experience for kids. 

While a little bit of adrenaline can actually sharpen focus, for many kids and teens, that spark can burst into an anxiety flame that holds them back.

Understanding the mechanics of performance anxiety is the first step toward mastering it.

The fight-or-flight surge

Performance anxiety happens when the brain perceives a social or physical “test” as a threat. 

It shows up as worried thoughts first. Things like “I’m going to fail” and “Everyone is looking at me” and “This is so important for college, what if I [insert embarrassing thing here]?!” flood the mind.

Then the physical alarms might start to go off. For an 8-year-old, this might look like a stomach ache before a book report. For a 17-year-old, it might be a racing heart before a championship game or a placement test.

When the body enters this state, it releases cortisol and adrenaline. While these are great for running away from a predator and can sometimes enhance performance, they can get in the way of remembering a speech or maintaining the fine motor skills needed for a golf swing if they spike out of proportion to the event. 

The goal isn't to eliminate this experience of anxiety — the thoughts or the physical sensations. The goal is to understand when they’re getting in the way and what you can do about it. 

When to find extra support for anxiety

3 strategies for the classroom

Public speaking is consistently ranked as one of the top fears for students. Using it as our example, here are a few ways to lower the stakes:

• The 30-second rule: For many people, anxiety can be highest right before the start of an event. Practice the first 30 seconds of the speech — a smoother start can help settle their nervous system.
  
  
  

• Focus on a friendly face: Encourage your student to find one person in the room before they begin — a friend or a supportive teacher — and deliver the presentation to them. This shifts the perspective from “the whole class is judging me” to “I am having a conversation with one person.”
  
  
  
  Over time, they can expand who they’re directing their speech to — this will help them learn that it’s safe to look around. They’ll benefit from the exposure and from realizing the rest of the class is giving them positive input, too!
  
  
  

• Normalize the physical buzz: Instead of telling them to “calm down” (when has that ever calmed anyone down?!), help them reframe the feeling. Suggest they tell themselves, “My body is getting energized so I can do a great job,” rather than “I'm shaking because I'm scared and I can’t do it.”
  
  
  
  It can be helpful if your child recognizes that flight-fight-or-freeze reaction in their bodies. Help them frame it as a false alarm that they’re proving wron. That can be key to understanding how they respond to these physical sensations they feel (“Anxiety is telling my body that this is an emergency. Hey, anxiety, this is just Mr. Morgan’s history class!”)
  
  
  

• When things go off the rails: Anyone can get caught off guard when they make a mistake or things happen they haven’t planned for. To find that feeling, have your child practice making a mistake or flubbing a word or two on purpose. The goal isn’t to learn how to do it wrong — the goal is to learn how to recover when the mistake is inevitably made. (We’re all human! Mistakes happen! It’s what you do next that matters.)

Read more about transitions and performance pressure

3 strategies for the field

In sports, anxiety often leads to cracking under pressure — where a familiar kick, flip, or swing suddenly feels foreign. 

To kick anxiety out of the driver’s seat and stay in the zone:

• Notice their response to stress: We know mistakes will happen. So when the free throws are missed over and over, your child can learn to mindfully let the misses go and reframe thoughts to the dunks to come in the future. The airballs are moments in time, not the entire basketball career. When anxiety tells your child they should just quit the team, they can say back “Hey, anxiety, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take — I’m going to keep going”.
  
  
  

• Visualize the process, not just the win: Many kids focus on the fear of losing. Instead, have them spend five minutes visualizing the mechanics of their performance — the feeling of the ball, the sound of the whistle, and their own steady movements. Bring the joy of the performance back to center stage.
  
  
  

• The 10-year rule: When the pressure feels like everything, ask them: “How much will this game/meet/performance matter in 10 years? In 10 weeks?” Putting the event in perspective can take some weight off their shoulders and bring the focus to the singular moment in time.

Learn about how anxiety affects girls

How parents can help

The most important thing a parent can do for their child in this situation is separate performance from worth. 

If a child feels that their parents’ love or pride is tied to a top-tier score, an “A” on a final, or a winning goal, their anxiety will skyrocket — those stakes are simply too high.

Instead, praise the bravery of showing up. Tell them how proud you are of them just for putting in the effort. Notice how they’re showing up for their teammates and demonstrating good sportsmanship. Show them with your smile, your cheers, your excitement at the fact that they got it done (rather than at the outcome). 

By focusing on the courage it takes to stand on that stage, play on that field, or run across that court — especially while being nervous — you build a foundation of trust and resilience that lasts far longer than any trophy won or grade earned.

Brightline helps parents, too