Holiday magic can come from unexpected places

Holiday magic can come from unexpected places

The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? But between Pinterest-perfect table settings, endless pleas for more of everything, and pressure to recreate (or fix) the memories of your own childhood, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short before the season even starts.

If you’re already juggling gift lists, travel plans, and sugar-fueled meltdowns, take a deep breath. You can create a joyful, meaningful holiday for your family and reduce the stress, the overspending, and the perfection pressure.

Here are seven simple ways to make this year feel lighter, calmer, and a whole lot more connected.

Get clear on what really matters

Before you fill your calendar or max out your credit card, stop and ask: “What do we actually care about?”

Think back: Have you ever bought your young child the “must-have” toy only to find it tossed aside by dinner? Or surprised your teen with something exciting that just led to stress or indifference?

If the planning and spending aren’t creating connection or joy, it’s okay to switch gears. Focus on meaning, not mayhem.

Focus on the feeling

Forget about what you want to do this holiday season. Ask how you want to feel.

Do you want to feel calm? Cozy? Connected? Grateful? Excited? Once you pick your top few feelings, plan your holidays around them.

Want calm? Skip the back-to-back parties. Want connection? Schedule downtime for cocoa and a movie instead of rushing between events.

When you lead with emotion, the moments start to take care of themselves.

Open the conversation

Ask your kids what makes the holidays special for them. You might be surprised by their answers.

Try asking:

• “What’s your favorite holiday tradition?”
  
  

• “If we could only do one special thing this year, what would it be?”
  
  

• “Is there anything you don’t really care about doing or having?”

Their answers can guide your plans, and might teach you that your kids care more about time together than anything wrapped in a bow.

Notice the small stuff

The best memories aren’t usually the big ones. They’re the in-between moments: singing along to a silly song, spotting lights on a walk, or cuddling up to watch Elf for the fourth time.

Slow down enough to notice them. Those little flashes of joy? That’s the real magic.

Toss (okay, shorten) the epic to-do list

If your holiday list is making you feel like an unpaid event planner, it’s time to crumple it up.

Simpler is better. Choose low-stress, no-cost ways to connect: read a holiday story, bake cookies, or just tell your kids a funny story from when you were their age.

Your child won’t remember every activity — but they will remember how you made them feel. (And how you feel matters, too…it also feeds into how you act and react to those around you.) Speaking of which…

Take care of you, too

You can’t pour from an empty mug. (Peppermint mocha or otherwise.)

Take time to recharge, even if it’s just a short walk, a quiet stretch, or a text exchange with a friend. Reach out for support when you need it — from loved ones, a partner, or a therapist. Your well-being sets the tone for everyone else’s, and if you’re feeling stressed or over-scheduled, your family will feel it too.

Make room for tough feelings

Disappointment happens, even during the holidays. Maybe your child doesn’t get the gift they wanted or family tension bubbles up. That’s okay.

Instead of trying to fix it right away, sit with your child in those feelings. Say something like, “It’s okay to feel sad or frustrated. It feels tough right now, and I’m here with you.” 

Holidays can bring up a lot of emotions, and not all of them are going to be positive. Let your kids know that it’s normal, they aren’t alone, and that it will pass. 

The heart of it all

The holidays don’t need to be a marathon of meals, gifts, and expectations. They can simply be a time to connect, to notice the laughter, the small joys, and the love that makes your family yours.