Stopping the domino effect of stress

Stopping the domino effect of stress

Stress is a normal part of life for both adults and kids. How it’s responded to it makes all the difference.

As a parent, your stress isn’t invisible. Kids pick up on it, even when you think you’re hiding it. They watch how you react, how you cope, and how you bounce back. And that means your response to stress can teach powerful lessons about resilience.

Here’s how to recognize stress — in yourself and your child — and manage it in a way that helps everyone in your family feel calmer, more connected, and more in control.

Notice the signs, in you and your child

Stress looks different for everyone. For adults, it might show up as irritability, exhaustion, or snapping over small things. You might feel a racing heart, be unable to focus, or just want to go to sleep.

For kids, it can look like:

• Trouble concentrating or finishing tasks
  
  

• Tantrums or mood swings
  
  

• Trouble sleeping or sleeping more than usual
  
  

• Isolation or withdrawal
  
  

• Acting out or seeming “defiant”
  
  

• Physical complaints like stomachaches or headaches

Sometimes what looks like “bad behavior” is actually stress in disguise. Recognizing that is the first step toward helping your child feel safe and supported.

Talk about stress, early and often

Ask your child how they know when they’re feeling stressed — what they feel in their body and what you see in them when they are in a stressful situation. Maybe they feel shaky, their legs feel heavy, or their stomach is tight. You might notice flushed cheeks.

Share how stress feels in your body, too. Normalizing these conversations teaches your child that stress isn’t something to fear, it’s something to understand and manage.

Make space for honesty. Ask questions. Listen. Let your child know you’re there to help them work through it, not just “fix” it.

Model what healthy stress management looks like

Your kids are always watching. When you take a deep breath, step away for a moment, or talk about what’s bothering you calmly, they see that stress can be handled without panic or blame.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, model through communication how to separate your emotions, “I’m feeling stressed right now, but it’s not because of you. I just need a few minutes to regroup.” That reassurance helps your child feel secure, and gives you both space to reset.

Build healthy habits that keep stress in check

You can’t eliminate stress, but you can build resilience. Try small, consistent habits that protect everyone’s well-being:

• Keep routines predictable when possible
  
  

• Encourage movement — walks, dance parties, or stretching
  
  

• Prioritize sleep for everyone (yes, even you!)
  
  

• Practice gratitude or mindfulness together
  
  

• Set healthy boundaries — it’s okay to say no

And don’t forget your own support system. Talk to a friend, therapist, or loved one about what you’re feeling. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Be kind to yourself, and don’t do it alone

You won’t manage stress perfectly all the time, and that’s okay. What matters most is that you keep showing up, keep trying, and keep talking about it. Every time you do, you’re teaching your child that it’s okay to be human, and that stress doesn’t have to take over your life.