What kids are actually doing on social media, and why that matters

If it feels like your kids are glued to their phones, you’re not imagining it. Kids today are online more than ever, just like the adults in their lives. And while most social media platforms say they’re for ages 13 and up, kids are showing up earlier and staying longer, especially if they have a smartphone in hand.

The numbers are big: nearly all teens have access to a smartphone, and almost half say they’re online almost constantly. No wonder parents are worried. A strong majority of parents with kids under 12 say screen time is a concern.

But here’s the reality check: expecting kids to use the internet only for school isn’t realistic. Social media isn’t going anywhere. The real goal is helping your kids find a healthy balance that works for your family.

So…what are kids posting on social media?

A lot more than just selfies (though yes, those too:

• 50% of teens post about their accomplishments

• 44% share about their family

• About 1 in 3 post about their emotions and feelings

• 22% post about dating

• 10% share personal problems or religious or political beliefs

• 42% post updates about where they are or what they’re doing

• 45% say they often or sometimes post selfies

In other words, kids are using social media to document their lives, express themselves, and connect with others, not just to scroll endlessly.

What are kids getting out of it?

Depending on their age, social media can play a major role in how kids communicate, learn, and build relationships. It can be a powerful outlet for creativity, curiosity, and identity development. When parents recognize the upsides — not just the risks — it’s much easier to start productive conversations and find common ground.

When should you step in and set limits?

Pay attention to impact, not just hours. If social media starts interfering with schoolwork, sleep, family time, or mood, that’s your cue. Instead of laying down rules out of nowhere, partner with your kids to set realistic goals and boundaries. Limits work best when kids feel understood, not controlled.

How can you help keep kids safe online?

Make safety a two-way conversation. Share what you know about online risks, and ask what they’re seeing or worrying about. Open-ended questions help kids open up — and when they feel heard, they’re more likely to buy into safety rules and boundaries.

The bottom line

Social media isn’t a phase, it’s part of growing up today. The goal isn’t to ban it, but to guide kids through it. By staying informed, staying curious, and setting limits with your kids instead of for them, you can help them use social media in ways that are safer, healthier, and more positive.